So tonight I met up with Kiesha. I haven't seen her since graduation plus I welcomed the distraction of a visit from someone new. She picks me up, we go to H&M mid-town. We part ways while she shops, I decide to go to Barnes & Noble to sit and chill. I don't know whaat it is about H&M, but I just can't stand being in there. I guess I feel it's too crowded and hectic mostly. Anyway, she called me while I was at Barnes & Noble and stated she needed help in deciding which outfits are job worthy. I'm like sure whatever because I don't see her often I'll suck it up and sit in a danky dressing room and be nice. All the while, I'm starving...and yes, I had a multi-grain bagel with tea at the bookstore but I barely digested the joint before she called me. But that's neither here or there.
What I really want to talk about is our dinner at Busboys & Poets on 5th Street. So we settle in at our table and we bigin to discuss this book she's been reading The Art of Seduction. It gained my attention because it basically listed different types of seducers/seductresses. Anyway, we continue to talk about the book and her intent to study it more seriously. Our waiter, the bartender comes up and asks for our order, but of course we aren't ready as of yet. He returns, we order, then he asks where we're from. Well I say that I'm local and she explains that she's from Miami. I thought he was friendly, but not overly so...you know? We get our food along with our wine and continue to talk about the book. The bartender comes back and asks us if we wanted a drink something sweet...dessert type sweet. I'm like sure why not as I'm a sucker for sweet stuff. Kiesha is mad hesitant, but relented. He brings us some drinks...tasted like bailey's cream with some added chocolate syrup w/ maybe cherry liquour. We ask where he's from as he has an accent and he's like guess. Kiesha guesses Ukraine and he's like no but if we guess incorrectly 5x then we'll have to take another of his special drink. He comes back and I guess (correctly) that he's from Croatia. He was pleasantly surprised as many people don't know that his country exist. Now at this point it's obvious he's flirting, but with whom I'm not sure. So he goes back to tend to the bar and I'm like Kiesha he's flirting but I don't know with whom...he's kinda cute maybe I should flirt back and see what happens. Kiesha was like I would drop it because it's not clear at all.
So dude comes back and he chats us up some more telling us about being married and getting a divorce a year ago. It was actually an interesting story as his American wife was on holiday in Croatia, they met, exchanged emails, she visited a month later, I guess more communicating, and voila...they got married! Made me think that me and Miguel could've sooooooooooooo made it had I just gotten his email. LOL Anyway, I digress. Bartender keeps getting interrupted and asks if we mind moving to the bar so we can continue chatting. By the way, it's still unclear as to which one of us he's trying to talk to. We sit at the bar and Kiesha rants about guys being simple and the book doesn't really state anything new. She rants in front of dude and says guys just want attention, nasty sex, and access to food. He cosigns and agrees wholeheartedly. Then I said that I'm just not the seducing type and asked isn't that what guys do? He answered that seduction is 5% what you know and 95% of practice.
Did I mention that I figured out who he was indeed flirting with? No need to guess you already know it wasn't me. So I do what I do best in these situations and I withdraw. I begin to withdraw from the conversation with dude and even Kiesha. At this point, I'm just reading the book because clearly I'm the one who needs pointers. It's so funny on so many levels. I broke up with Marcus since September, but it's like I can't even buy a date. I was excited to see Kiesha...I mean I even put on some makeup and bumped my hair because it was a girl's outing. I even scheduled our dinner for Saturday because I didn't want to be accosted by the entire Valentine's Day holiday. It didn't matter...felt like a loser anyway. I was pleasant, engaged in conversation, listened, etc. it counted for naught because I don't have that je ne sais quoi or suffice it to say sexual energy. I mean I thought the guy was cute but it wasn't like I was I was smitten; however, I was open to the possibility of something. Shit to be honest...nowadays, anything. Anyway, my whole energy just sapped...I felt unattractive and silly for thinking that maybe he was flirting with me. Hey...just maybe for once I'm the chosen one and not the chopped-liver look-a-like sidekick. I guess I was unprepared to feel that. It's one of the reasons I don't go out that often. In a city where black men seem to want every other race except their own, I thought might as well be game for any race to date. I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that maybe other races aren't interested either. The evening was so warped...I'm flirting with him...he's flirting with Kiesha...and Kiesha is probably saying hell no in her head because she doesn't date white guys.
Anyway, I treat (don't ask me why) and we're about to leave. Bartender drops the bomb...oh...I'm coming down to Miami in March for some music festival. He's like what's the area code down there 301...we're like naw...it's 305. That was his opening to ask Kiesha for her number. Sorry to say...it was painful to witness. I go out and try or at least I call it trying and it's just not enough, you know? My sentiment right now...is why bother? It's all bullshit anyway. But what really gets me is the fact that I'm giving some random stranger power over my feelings of my beauty. I guess honestly I don't feel all that beautiful and the more I put on makeup (playing dress up basically) and attempt to interact with the opposite sex...the more I feel out of place.
I guess that's all...I'm mad tired. So despite my appointment at the spa later on today to feel special despite not being in a relationship, my feelings were hurt the day before. Ha! Maybe I should take the whole week off leading up to V-Day. I should call it V-bomb! Sleep is more important right now...so whatever.
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