Just thinking...

I'm about to head to bed, but just have a few thoughts I want to jot down. There is so much stress in my body right now. This week I find out if my 2nd attempt to pass the bar was successful. I'm nervous about it because failure again would be mortifying. Maybe it's all about perspective, though. Maybe I should let it all go. I took this exam 2 months ago and did not really think about it so why 2 days before results come out am I so wound up? Anticipation is a B#$%H. I just spoke to Edith and she said we should think positively. Positive thinking is something I also struggle with. I assessed my weaknesses and tried to confront them first this time around when I studied for the bar. Hopefully, all works out. Wow...every time I think of the results there is a tingling sensation going down my back....craziness. We'll see.

What If?

There are a bunch of what ifs rumbling in my head. What if I lived alone and therefore had no added stress of living with another person? What if I moved to France for a year or two...would it be as pleasant as I think? What if I was successful in my first attempt to pass my exam? What if I knew exactly what my dream job was? Then what if I found my dream job? What if I owned my own property? What if I did not have to think of my family's problems/drama? What if I could put something down and it will remain there until I return? What if I met my Mr. Right and did not know it? Wait a second...what if there is no such thing as a Mr. Right? What if dating was not so hard? What if I could have a quiet moment to myself every morning at the same time? What if frustration was not a part of my daily routine? There are so many more what ifs, but I think that will do for now...